Sorry I haven’t blogged for a while guys, I’ve been very busy over the Summer holidays! And yes, I am now back at school for my last year, but I’m trying to make the best of every day I’ve got. How were all your holidays?
I just wanted to talk about a serious matter which I’m sure a lot of you have had to deal with or are currently dealing with. Over the holidays, one of my cousins (who was only 18) died. It was a tragic accident, I don’t want to go into details, but it has left the entire family distraught. And since then we have all been plunged into a deep sadness, an empty pit that will take a while to climb out of. It’s horrific when someone close to you dies, especially someone young with so much potential.
This is the third experience I’ve had with grief and I wanted to raise it here as a lot of people aren’t sure how to deal with it or find their varying emotions scary. One thing that has cropped up each time for me is the inability to remember things about the person you’ve lost, for example their voice, or their mannerisms or facial expressions. Whatever it may be, this can be really distressing. It’s a dreadful idea to think you may have forgotten that person. But you haven’t. Everything will come back in time. The reason why that person’s features and characteristics seem so easily forgotten is because when you last saw that person, you had no idea it would be the last time. Especially with sudden out of the blue deaths that are completely unpredicted. For example, I can’t remember the sound of my cousin’s voice, but it doesn’t frighten me. I know that I will never forget him, and the shock of the accident is still embedded in my mind, so when that passes I will be able to remember him more clearly. So things will brighten up the more you become accustomed to a life without that special person. It may take months, years, decades even, I don’t know, but it will happen, I promise you.
Grief makes you worry so much more. You suddenly feel overprotective of all your other family members or friends and want to try and keep them as safe as possible. But it’s important to remember that it’s impossible for one person to prevent a random accident happening, or stop an illness being developed. You have to carry on and let your close friends and family live their lives to the full. And the same applies to you. Just because someone was very unlucky to have a certain accident happen to them, doesn’t mean the same thing is going to happen again. It’s difficult, and I know this first hand, but you mustn’t live your life in fear, because then you’re not really living life at all. I’m guilty of this though. For example, I get super worried about anyone close to me going on a plane. I have this massive fear of flying, even though I’ve flown before and it’s been absolutely fine, but every time I get on a plane, I panic. So the thought of someone I love going up in the air without me there makes me panic even more. I don’t know why, seeing as plane travel is far safer than car travel, but there’s something about being off the ground that really distresses me. I’m one of those people that goes online and tracks the flights which have the people I love on them and make sure that they have landed okay. It seems ridiculous, but I couldn’t bear the idea that the plane had crashed. So I live my life in fear to some extent. I am not the most relaxed person when it comes to looking after my loved ones. But I’m doing everything I can to calm myself. I try my best not to annoy or restrict the person I’m worrying about. Okay, I have irrational worries in my head, but if you spread these to other people, you are ruining their enjoyment and making them feel less secure in their own situation. So let you loved ones roam free, don’t try and control them. Accidents are rare and far between, you just have to trust them to be sensible.
I’m sorry that this was such a sad post guys, but I really hope that this has helped some of you. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment.
Be strong xxx